tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1275199318985015527.post4248676815450448770..comments2023-07-17T03:45:44.878-07:00Comments on Room 4 St Joes: 100wc #week 37 RitaMrs Horanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08649600165135422018noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1275199318985015527.post-89233878774370046692018-07-16T03:21:05.181-07:002018-07-16T03:21:05.181-07:00Hi Rita,
I love the energy of your story - it'...Hi Rita,<br /><br />I love the energy of your story - it's a rollercoaster of emotion and angst over a classic motif of the 'bad school photo'. Your reinvention of the alarm clock onomatopoeia from 'beep' to 'bep' is charmingly disarming. I feel that the energy of your story would be even more powerful if you reread and double-checked your writing more, as there are quite a few mistakes (typos, punctuation, spelling). These are things that will come more naturally the more you write, so nothing to worry about too much now, but I would recommend going over the story with your teacher so they can help you write an even better story next time. You have real narrative force so I hope to see more of your writing in future! Well done!<br /><br />Best,<br />Elise (Team 100) - London :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04971501016094133103noreply@blogger.com