One day when my family was hiking I started to whistle, then my dad started to whistle and then my mum started to whistle. But my sister didn’t whistle she just kept on walking. “Why aren’t you whistling” I asked her. my sister answered “I can not whistle." “Just try I know you can whistle come on whistle” I told her before I started to whistle. Then my sister started to whistle but it was completely out of tune. I asked my sister “Ziva please stop whistling." “I told you I can’t whistle” she said in a sassy voice. Then we all stopped whistling...
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I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .