“Leo is that you?” I say. Leo grabs the hat and takes it. I run after Leo out of the shop but he disappears. Where did he go I ask the hat maker. “Where did he like to go?” he replied. Looking back I remember the rose. I run to the pavement were we had found it and Leo is sitting there. When he sees me he then shakes his head. “A-Abby?” he says white as a ghost. Then the rose falls down. Dead. Leo was free of the curse. We walk back home. Don’t tell mum this I say.
I really liked . . . because . . . I really liked the way you . . . I enjoyed reading this because . . . It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . . Next time you write . . . Think about adding . . . Have you thought about . . . To improve your . . . try . . . Perhaps you could . . .
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I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .