Leo was being a nuisance. He had blown up a brown balloon and kicked it into my room. “Hey Abby, is this balloon frightening you?” he said annoyingly. “No just go away!” I shouted back. “NEVER!” he bellowed. “Leo stop it or I will tell on you,” I said. Then he stopped and I darted to mum. “Leo is annoying me!” I say and mum replies, “LEO that is a week without your tablet.” Leo wines and I snigger at him. “HA Leo you lost your ipad, you lost your ipad.” I chant. And Leo walked away wining. I won.
I really liked . . . because . . . I really liked the way you . . . I enjoyed reading this because . . . It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . . Next time you write . . . Think about adding . . . Have you thought about . . . To improve your . . . try . . . Perhaps you could . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .