One day I went for a walk and totally took no notice of the sign which said watch out for the drop in to the sewer but I kept walking along the sidewalk I wasn't looking and fell down Ouch . I started to yell but no one could hear me so I Pulled out my phone to someone ring but there was no reception so I started to wander around for a ladder out . Finally I found it but there was a problem . It came out on the road I had no chance of getting out there. I'd probably get run over by a car . I'd probably DIE .
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I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .