I was walking down the road and then I saw it. Yes I saw it. It was a puppy, a cute nice puppy and it ran towards me and the i picked the puppy up. And I looked and the puppy did not have a collar and I said to the puppy I am going to name you Bella and she barked in happiness. So I got my jumper from around my waste and wrapped bella. In my jumper because she was shivering and she was cold so when i got home i gave her some dog food and water.
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I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .