Pages

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Aug 19 (6) - 100WC - Kerrin Wilson

 Jimmy was in kindergarten his teacher wanted to read them a story. So everyone one came down to the mat and sit, and listen to her. The story is about alligators Jimmy is in Australia. Jimmy put his hand up And said I heard them before I saw them at the Australian zoo. ̈ ̈wow ̈ said the teacher.the teacher continued reading about alligators, ̈did you know that wild female alligators lay eggs in a hole and bury it¨ explain the teacher she turn to the next page ̈it says here how do you know the eggs are boy or girl if the temperature is cold then it a boy. And if the temperature is warm then is a girl the clock hits three o'clock the bell rings ̈HOME TIME¨ yelled the kids Jimmy gets his bag and saw dad waiting outside what did you ¨learned today¨ ask dad about alligators.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Kerrin!

    I enjoyed reading your story. It is a very interesting use of the prompt, and I like how you set your story at a school during storytime too! I can see that you have learnt some really cool facts about alligators, which I really like as I am actually a biologist (cool coincidence right!). Heres another cool fact for you: did you know that alligators and crocodiles have stayed basically the same since the time of the dinosaurs! They were crawling and swimming about all those millions of years ago just like they are today.

    If i had to say one thing to improve, it would be to put some more full stops in your story. This would make it easier to read.

    Keep writing!

    Ana, Oxford UK, Team100

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .