Thursday, November 14, 2019

100WC Week #10 lachlan W



It was 1918 we were all training for the war to come and it was time. I was with the others when we enter the boats it was cold but everyone else seem to get use to it. I just stared down in the open seas. then we could hear the bombs going off. We were near the beaches were they had pushed on to the front I grab my helmet and locked it on grab my rifle we had made it a bomb hit the my boat.?! I fell into the cold dark water. I push myself up I saw my friends bleeding out. when I got to the beaches I took cover in my boat it had fell on the beach. We storm up to the grounds...



1 comment:

  1. What a tragedy your story retells Lachlan, and clearly significant at this time of year. I wonder who your character was and where he was from? It always helps your readers when you add little details which make the story even richer.
    Well done and keep rising to the Challenge.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .