Monday, June 15, 2020
100WC - Week #38 - Mia
Oh no!!! I’m up next! I have barely even practiced! Jillys watched his best friend poka go up on stage, poka was second to last. Which that meant...Jilly was last, and that meant...he was next! Oh man! I wish I had practiced! Everyone in my class is so so good! “And next up we will have…” said the teacher. Aw man! I'm gonna lose! “Jilly! Please come up to the stage!” Jilly walked up to the stage. Arghhh! There are so many people! Why didn't I practice??? Here we go! Then the Elephant delivered his speech. This sucks!
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I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
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To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
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Hi Mia
ReplyDeleteYou built the suspense really well in this 100WC with your use of speech marks and ellipses. Great work.
Mrs P (Team 100WC)
Wellington, New ZEaland