Wednesday, November 14, 2018
100WC week#10 Tom
On Wednesday the 23 of October I decided to go to the zoo to see my favorite animals like the Monkey, Turtle, Giraffe and don’t make me forget my favourite of all the Gorilla. I jump out of the shower and put on my spotted yellow dress and hop in the car. After a 10 minute drive I arrive and pay at the counter. 30 dollars later I find myself staring at the gorilla and then make my way over to see the pretty young giraffe. I get half way there and I puffing behind the brick wall it gets closer and closer and then BANG "Hi gorilla" I say and then start running to safety…
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Hi Tom,
ReplyDeleteWell done on your entry this week. You've done a great job with the prompt words. Be careful about mixing up tenses in your writing, you start off in the past tense *decided* but you switch to present tense *I jump* in the next sentence. It's quite tricky to use both in one story.
I really like your sentence that begins with '30 dollars later'...you create a sense that you were not that happy paying that amount!
Keep up the great writing.
Ms Brennock
Team 100 w/c
Dublin
Ireland
https://msbrennocksclass.100wc.net/