Once there was a man called John. John worked at the supermarket. One time he was packing bananas. Then suddenly. The BIG, BLACK, heavy wolf from midnight swamp JUMPED up on the freezers and ROARED. ROAR. BANG CLASH BOOM.AHHH everyone screams as they run out. John watched as the wolf DAMAGED everything. BUT.. john was the last person left… Scratch Scratch goes his claws. He was as big as the sky tower. The wolf approaches him.
“G’day Mate!” The wolf says. “I don’t know why everyone is scared about me”
My mind was going around and around in circles.
Hi Milah,
ReplyDeletePoor old John! It sounds like the wolf might be an Aussie? (G'day).
I liked the adjectives you added to make your story more interesting.
My only minor area for improvement would be to make sure your tenses are consistent (e.g. worked is past tense and approaches is present tense).
I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Well done!
Michelle, Team 100WC,
Melbourne, Australia