Wednesday, May 20, 2020
100WC - Week #34 - Chloe Old
¨Good night!” Bang ! Crash! ¨who's there? what are you doing in the rubbish bin you cheeky racoon? I´m going to name you Fred. Iĺl get you a fresh apple. Come, no Fred youŕe going to school with me.¨ I sit on my chair, ¨shhh we are going to get caught here¨ Ding, ding goes the bell. ¨Kids it is lunch¨.¨ Here fred you can hide in the box. Here is some food.¨ ¨Im back Fred, lets go home.¨ There is a leaf coming from the sky and it has a note on it and it says come and find Fred.
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Hi Chloe,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you used the given words and the name you gave to the raccoon. Think about adding apostrophes where needed.
Keep being creative!
Best wishes,
Miss Milena
I love all the dialogue in your story, Chloe. I can really hear you talking to your raccoon! I also like the fast pace of your story and the way you include all the prompt words so easily. I can hear the sounds in your story. The ‘Bang! Crash! And the ding, ding of the school bell. Very realistic indeed.
ReplyDeleteJanet Team 100WC