“We finally made it to the temple”
puffed Brent
“oh we did” replied Brenda “what is
this red brick on the wall she questioned”
“ Don't touch it” yelled Brent
“whoops “Brenda smirked
“what's happening cried Brenda”
they suddenly appeared in a room with three
doors and one ladder “remember we are only here for ancient coins wait a sec”
whispered Brent “
“we're
sinking quick climb the ladder OK ” when
they climbed up the ladder they found pavement at the top
“wait we're back at the top again “sobbed Brent “ I guess we have to do it all
again!!!
I really liked this piece because how you described what you were doing in the temple. Maybe you could try adding more detail to this piece because I didn’t understand what happened in between “they suddenly appeared in a room”. What happened before the temple? Nice piece by the way.
ReplyDeleteFrom, Mohammad.