One bright morning i woke up feeling very energetic. I ran down stairs with a big smile and screamed..”Ahhh it is here?” I looked to my left where the rest of my family sat in the lounge and my brother yelled “calm your farm gee!”
Trying to act professional I replied “Okay”
“I don’t get why you are so excited about some sports clothes arriving” my brother argued. I bought some very cool pants and a jersey for netball training. I went and tried them on and came back down and showed Mum. She thought they looked good.
Hi Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteDo you have a brother? It sounds like you are an expert on siblings annoying each other!! Well done for using speech marks in your writing. Maybe next time you might end of a cliffhanger to build excitement for the reader?
Well done!
Ciara (Team 100)
this is for Rebecca
ReplyDeletei really liked the way you put speech marks and some descriptive words like energetic it brings me like playing some sports.
Rebecca
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you used descriptive words in you writing.I also liked the way you started your story. next time you could improve on making the reader want to read more.
great job!
From Olivia
Hello Rebecca, I like the way you have created energy in your story by using words such as energetic and ran. I also love the way the brother responds...I can so hear that happening. Brothers can be annoying sometimes...my brother wouldn't understand either.
ReplyDelete