Friday, May 25, 2018

100WC Week #32 by Issy M

The magic box.
“Why didn’t you do it”. said john.
“But I didn’t understand the instructions”.replied holly.
John and holly were making a little box for there mum for mother's day “I have to go get the necklace for mum.I will be back in half an hour.You try and make the box.” John said. “Where are the instruction.”asked molly. “Here.”replied john throwing  the instructions into the air. “Thanks.” said molly.(half an hour latter.) “Molly I'm home have you finished the box yet.” “yes.” “ok now I'll put the necklace in.”John said. “I hope she will like it?”

By -

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 31, 2018 at 4:47 PM

    I like the bit when you yose the sentense at the start

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mrs HoranJune 1, 2018 at 2:59 AM

    I agree with Ava - starting with direct speech helps hook the reader in, great work Issy.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
  • 100WC - Week #26 - Kate
    I was in Sydney on my yearly visit.  When the sun went down. I was trying to feel my way back to my apartment.  When something pulled me bac...
  • 100 WC Week #33 by Zak
    One day there was a  spiky fruit up in the tree, there was two big spiky fruits.  I wondered “What is in that spiky fruit? “Maybe there...
  • 100WC Week #29 - All of Room 4's Posts
    Our first time writing for 100WC This weeks prompt words are... shouted     crimson   misty frantically   grave ...