I gasp,my mouth dropped in instant seconds .My heart started to pound heavily. I couldn't believe my eyes. The brown rectangle shaped box sat still on the table as a giant smile appears across my face.Quickly I opened the massive box with excitement.
“Ahhhh!” I screamed with happiness.”When did it arrive?” I said. No one answered.
I gently grabbed my dress and ran to my bedroom. My mother helped me try it on. As I try it on tears run down my mother’s face. I couldn’t help but say thank you.The sparkly dress shines as the sun appears through the curtains.
By Rita
Rita
ReplyDeleteYour story immediately hooked me and i wanted to read more it was very energetic and intriguing.
Rebecca
a heap oh nice detail and enthusiasm in your writing. next time try and put each speaker on a different line.
ReplyDeleteRebecca