Saturday, May 11, 2019

100WC - Week #29 - Kerrin

When Zac family went to the Auckland zoo. They went to the cafe to buy some snack, Zac have a chocolate bar it was brown not white, but his little brother have a white chocolate. When the two brothers they decided to look at the giraffe, dad got the map “it says here the giraffe is on the right path” answered dad “YAY!” yelled the two brothers. When they skipped along the path they saw a giraffe feeding area, Izac which is Zac little brother “mum dad can we feed the giraffe” ask Izac “of course dear” replied mum when they finish feeding the giraffe, they forgot to eat their chocolate bar when they look at their chocolate. “Nooooo!” screamed Zac “no my white chocolate is gone” sobbed Izac “it’s ok we could buy something instead of chocolate” ask mum what about a frozen drink and a muffin.  
By -

4 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 12, 2019 at 5:05 PM

    I really liked the way you put drama when Zac's chocolate melted

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liam MMay 12, 2019 at 5:17 PM

    I liked how you went to the zoo and one of the kids lost their chocolate bar. This is because I like zoos and love eating chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 13, 2019 at 8:25 AM

    Hello Kerrin, I really like this piece, because of the way you explain what Zac did at the zoo, but you need to fix your grammar, capital letters, run on sentences, and punctuation. Next time proof read your sentences, but other wise this was an amazing piece.

    Your friend, Aden

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 13, 2019 at 11:53 PM

    I liked reading this because I love chocolate to and I would be sad if my chocolate had gone as well

    ReplyDelete

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