“I’m so so so excited!!!” I yelled, “We get to go to the circus!!!” It was true, today we were going to the circus up in Hamilton. I was going with my little brother, Tom, and my Mum and my Dad. I layed on my bed, thinking about the circus, The red curtains opened, and then it began, I saw dragons, people breathing fire, clowns…”ARGH!!!!!” I scream, “I hate clowns!!!” Mum came running in...
“What’s wrong???” Mum asked.
“I don't want to go to the circus anymore!!!” I sobbed.
“BUT WHY???” Mum asked.
“Because I HATE clowns!!!” I replied.
Hi Mia
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of emotions expressed in your 100 word challenge. I love how you start out with "I'm so so so excited" as with these three words you really set the scene and draw your reader in. You created an atmosphere of anticipation about going to the circus. However quick as a flash everything changed as you started to think about the circus and you leave your story on a great cliffhanger as I for one am wondering did you go to the circus in the end.I'd love to know what happened next. Well done and keep up the good work.
Máire O'Keeffe (Team 100wc)
Galway Ireland
Hi Mia,
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great 100WC entry! I enjoyed the detail that you put into this, especially the conversation between the main character and their mum, because this helps readers to feel like they are a part of the story.
Next time you write you should keep using adjectives, and make sure you read over your work to check your punctuation.
- Nicola (100WC)