Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Aug 19 (7)t - Kerrin Wilson



The year 3000 a man created a vr headset. Well it's not for games it makes the world spin so the man put it on as I turned my head, the world spun like crazy that make him fell over, so he takes it off it was night time he said ̈it was daylight before now its night time ̈  then another idea. He name it a time machine to the past the year 2025 when he spawn in 2025 he see no flying cars, bikes, scooters. But they look to the future but on the ground, Everything looked very different in the past but know one can ́t see him but he tried to find him in the past he knows what street he lives he went into the house he finds him he takes out his Iphone 15  and take a photo of him and the past him. He pushes the button and went home, he takes out His phone the photo is still there.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kerrin,

    I wonder if there will be an iPhone 15 or whether there might be something else in 2025? Maybe by the year 3000, there will be something even more exciting than a VR headset? Some great ideas for your story though!

    Just make sure that you keep your tenses consistent as it can be a bit confusing to follow your story (created/turned/went are all past tense, whereas finds/pushes/takes are all present tense).

    Thank you for sharing,

    Michelle, Team 100WC
    Melbourne, Australia

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .