Thursday, June 28, 2018

100wc #week 37 Rita


“Bep bep” My alarm went  off .I jumped out of bed went to look at my calendar for the morning.No it can't be it just can't be i'm too late i look the a freak and i need to straight my hair.”How on earth did I forget it was photo day “I said to myself frustrated.Now that on earth am i going to wear, I run to the table and grabbed my laptop and i facetimed my friend. “Yo i have no clue what to wear HELP ME” . “It had been raining all morning so its postboned.” said Rebecca.That moment i felt like screaming the roof off.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Rita,

    I love the energy of your story - it's a rollercoaster of emotion and angst over a classic motif of the 'bad school photo'. Your reinvention of the alarm clock onomatopoeia from 'beep' to 'bep' is charmingly disarming. I feel that the energy of your story would be even more powerful if you reread and double-checked your writing more, as there are quite a few mistakes (typos, punctuation, spelling). These are things that will come more naturally the more you write, so nothing to worry about too much now, but I would recommend going over the story with your teacher so they can help you write an even better story next time. You have real narrative force so I hope to see more of your writing in future! Well done!

    Best,
    Elise (Team 100) - London :)

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