I took a deep breath and pressed the button ‘DING DONG!!! ‘ My heart
is pounding inside my chest.I can barely breath “GO AWAY “ yells my neighbor
is pounding inside my chest.I can barely breath “GO AWAY “ yells my neighbor
“ but I need my ball “. ‘BANG ‘ “ OW!!! “ I howl “go get your ball” yells my
neighbor. I swear his face gets more and more ugly every time I see him
“yes sir “ “ hurry up “ he shouts . I ran into his back yard and grabbed my ball
then ran out of his front gate yelling sorry on the way . Running into my
backyard and started kicking my ball again. “ Mum I need another ball”
neighbor. I swear his face gets more and more ugly every time I see him
“yes sir “ “ hurry up “ he shouts . I ran into his back yard and grabbed my ball
then ran out of his front gate yelling sorry on the way . Running into my
backyard and started kicking my ball again. “ Mum I need another ball”
Hi Bailee,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your 100WC. I really liked the beginning because you made it tense and exciting. I think you need to try and tell your story not just in dialogue. Conversation can be more difficult to follow.
Mr Waller from Papatoetoe
http://pwsroom14.blogspot.co.nz/