Tuesday, February 4, 2020

100wc-week#19-Addison

So we were getting ready for the beach and then we were on our way to our friends house and then we picked them up and went to the beach when we got there we went straight into the water and i keeled down then BAM i keeled straight on a jellyfish OW i screamed in pain i ran to mum it hurts then we peeled all the  tenticels off we tried to get ice cream but although it was saturday nothing was open so we just went home and ate a sandwich instead and had fizzy
The end…



4 comments:

  1. Hi Addison!, I really liked it because it was really exiting. And especially when the jellyfish stung you!.
    Next time think about adding full stops.
    Awesome writing Addison!
    From Milah

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great story Addison I liked how you put ... at the end and I wish I wen't to the beach with my friends from Carla.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Addison I really liked the way you described the pain with onomatopoeia's
    Have you really got stung by a jellyfish before?.
    Keep up the good work,
    -William

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Addison,I like the part where you got a sandwich instead of an ice cream why did you kneel down into the water instead of standing?

    ReplyDelete

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