Wednesday, October 24, 2018

100WC - Week #7 - Olivia

One day there was a small Lego man, he liked to go on heaps of cool adventures and make lots of new friends. But then one day when he went out for his normal morning walk he saw something that looked like a balloon on the ground so he went to go and have a look. Then he saw all the people in the city in the big balloon and someone was about to send them off. So the Lego guy went to save the day, he grabbed the kidnapper and tied him up, and then he cut everybody free.

By -

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 29, 2018 at 10:51 AM

    I know the feeling about when you try to do something normal but then something comes along and says "Hi, I'd like to ruin your normal day!" like with the Lego man. I know this is the 100 word challenge but I feel that so much more could've happened in the story after the Lego guy saved everyone from the balloon. How did the Lego guy help everyone from the city in the balloon? The Lego man is inanimate so how did he go to the balloon and take everyone out?
    Your friend,
    Mohammad

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 12, 2018 at 2:03 PM

    Very well i think you did well and you probably should add more punctuation in your next story

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
  • 100WC - Week #26 - Kate
    I was in Sydney on my yearly visit.  When the sun went down. I was trying to feel my way back to my apartment.  When something pulled me bac...
  • 100WC - Week #19 - William
    Me, my brother and my parents were driving back into our hometown ‘Morrinsville’ from coming back from the airport after having a holiday in...
  • 100WC Week #3 - Lachlan P
    Once  I was riding my yellow bicycle and popping wheelies then I fell off then desperately I got back on my bike and greedily go to the dair...