“Look after the house Misty, and don’t do any thing naughty like last time”I told my kitten.
We were going on holiday for a week! And that was
just the beginning because we were going to the Gold Coast where all the theme
parks lay!
My brother whispered to me “were you just talking
to the cat”he sounded like it was a big deal.
“Yes” I whispered back excitedly.
Just as we get to the airport I see a tuft of black
fur down beside my feet, I looked closer then pulled away as my brother jumped
out of the car.
“We’re here!” he shouted.
Suddenly a
meow sounded beside my feet, looking back, I
remember seeing a tuft of black fur.
I exclaimed in surprise “Misty what are you
doing here!”
Hi Brooke
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your 100 word story. It was really good how you used the prompt in an imaginative way. I liked how you used dialogue (in other words, when your characters "spoke") to show what was happening in your story. You also appear to be really proficient with your use of punctuation, which I know is not the most exciting sounding compliment, however it is a vital skill for any aspiring writer!
I wonder what happened next in your story? Do you think your character would have to rush home to deliver Misty back to safety, or would they be able to convince their parents to let them take her on the adventure too?
If there was one thing I think you could improve in your story, it would be to make sure you stay in the correct "tense". This is something I'm sure you're teacher will be happy to explain if you ask. But it really is a good 100 word story. Thank you for your effort in writing it!
Keep on writing,
Ana, Team 100wc, Oxford, England