Tuesday, August 11, 2020

100WC - Week #46 - Carla

Oh no there was a guy chasing me because i was in his

property trying to find some grass for my hamsters they needed

a bed so then he was running after me ... but when i looked behind me…

i saw him not trying to get me any more so i just started to walk along the

streets trying to find my house but then i looked behind me again because

i heard running coming from behind me i looked and he was running full

speed so i quickly ran as fast as i could then. Oh no please help!


By -
Labels:

1 comment:

  1. KateAugust 11, 2020 at 5:49 PM

    Hi Carla,
    I really like your story, I really like how you added, Oh no please help! at the end, it really game your story more detail. I would suggest next time to add more commas and full stops. Also try to improve using your capital letter for things such a I. I love your story, keep doing well!
    Kate R.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
  • 100WC - Week #26 - Kate
    I was in Sydney on my yearly visit.  When the sun went down. I was trying to feel my way back to my apartment.  When something pulled me bac...
  • 100WC - Week #19 - William
    Me, my brother and my parents were driving back into our hometown ‘Morrinsville’ from coming back from the airport after having a holiday in...
  • 100WC Week #3 - Lachlan P
    Once  I was riding my yellow bicycle and popping wheelies then I fell off then desperately I got back on my bike and greedily go to the dair...