Thursday, April 30, 2020

100WC - Week #31 - Mia

“WOW! That's cool!” I say to Olivia.
“I know! The moon’s cool, but the tree in front of it is very very freaky!” Olivia exclaimed.
We watched the moon rise up into the dark blue sky, the tree in front of it made it like like a horror movie! CRACK! “What was that?” I ask.
“I-i think it was the tree, but i’m really not sure…” stammered Olivia.
BOOM! “ARHHH!!!!!!” Me and Olivia scream, as a strike of lightning hit the tree.

 “I don't think we should be standing under this tree…” Olivia said as he tree started to fall...

2 comments:

  1. Hi Mia,
    I just caused a bit of a disruption, yelling at your characters to RUN! It is always good when you get so into a story you forget where you are. You wrote great descriptions which helped me as a reader feel transported to under that tree. Keep writing and watch out for falling trees.
    McBreezy Team 100 Los Angeles, Californa

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is such a really active story, Olivia. I felt I was there with you. You responded really well to the picture and used your imagination to make a great story. Linking what you saw to a horror movie sets up the end of the story very well indeed. I hope you both got out of the way in time….

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .