Sunday, September 22, 2019
100 WC week 3# Ruby
Once upon A time in a fair land ….. OK that’s just boring so there was this very old man ,he lived in a very unfair land to be honest , well that’s what he thought He tells , the story's very different stories…. “ I was just young fellow “ he starts with “I was a pretty sneaky one too all I wanted was a yellow bicycle but my mum and dad didn’t have enough money for it I was so desperate that my father warned me if I don’t stop bugging them than he’ll take away something that I already had . I knew that he was thinking that I’m being a greedily child. In my mind I was planning baggarly it’s 3am in the morning I’m out the back of bike barnI’ve got the bike “ “stop right there .oo ohhhh.
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Ooo I'm not at all sure what to feel here Ruby. Should I be sorry for the old (young?) man, or was he about to get what he deserved? It sounds like he was both sneaky and greedy so maybe he needed to learn a lesson?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you could take another look at the final sentence? I'm not sure what 'baggarly' means and could you adjust the punctuation to help that sentence flow a little more smoothly? (I also think you might have gone a little over the 100 Words)
Well done though and keep rising to the Challenge.
It was meant to say burglary as in He slole something Ruby
DeleteHi Ruby
ReplyDeleteGreat story
Keep up the great work