Sunday, September 22, 2019
100WC - Lachlan w
Bang! my yellow bicycle hit a car I fell on the hard wet ground I was out cold when I woke up I was still on the floor it was raining and people were around me like sharks trying to get a meal my bike was gone and for a sec I saw a greedily man taking off with it I had desperate in me. So I got up and went after him he went through a fence that had a sight on it said warned do not on sight but I still went on trying to find the man that went off with my bike and in the corner of my eye I saw him behind a bin so I fake it went I walk off and came back with him not knowing if I had left or not I was behind. Him I saw my bike and had my time to get it I got then I ran like a sport runner trying to get first I had made it back home and on the news I saw the guy who stole my bike he had just be running from the cops and they got him in the end.
1 comment:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Phew, I'm happy to hear that the cops got the guy who stole your bike. Imagine if that was true and you had to face that after getting hit by a car! You entertained me well with your story. Just make sure that you include some more punctuation so that I can see where you want your sentences to start and finish.
ReplyDeleteWell done,
Michelle, Melbourne, Australia