A press
of a button can change everything…
I woke
up and was eager to have some food but when I stood up I tripped over
something. “weird” I thought but I still looked down. I saw it was a big box with a button on it. Well of course
I pressed the button but nothing happened so I ran downstairs and
realised that Mum, Dad and my baby sister were all just ,well not moving.
I panicked I ran outside to get some help but nothing was also moving. I
ran back in side went up to my room pressed that button again and ,well
everything moved again. I went down to my family and gave them a big hug “whats
wrong” they said I started crying because I was in a big shock. “well” I
started carrying on I pressed a button then everything stopped and it was
my fault I think “what do you mean” they laughed back they thought this was a
joke it wasn't it was real...
Olivia, I like the way you attempt to present the story. I think you have omitted the prompt in its exactness, although the meaning of it do come across to the reader. Further more, the use of the word 'well' appears multiple times the use of which could be reduced.
ReplyDeleteOverall the story line is great. Good job, Olivia.