Monday, May 27, 2019

100WC - Week #32 - Olivia Richards



As i
rose from my deep deep sleep i ran down stairs it's Christmas i happily ran  along to my parents room  jumped on there bed like a drill hammer and yelled its Christmas its Christmas i just realized i was  late to open my presents my brother had already opened his  i excitedly ran to mine and thought there is only one  but when i opened it was a pink scooter with transparent wheels i screamed thank you so much and rode it down the hallway that was my Christmas.


   


1 comment:

  1. I love the enthusiasm in this piece of writing Olivia, particularly the description of jumping on your parents bed. Like a drill hammer indeed!
    I counted nine sentences here, but to read it, there is only one. Try to include all the required punctuation won't you.
    Thanks for sharing,
    Jackie (Team 100WC)
    New Plymouth

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .