Saturday, February 9, 2019

100WC Week #19 - Keira

One day on a school day i got my haircut i was getting a trim and they gave me a fringe. First they washed my hair while they did that they gave me a hot chocolate but i could smell those eggs. Later on i could see that the lights were flickering it was kinda weird it was black then white then black then white. after that it was done and my hair looked really good after we just went and looked at the stores and got some snacks we tried theses puffs i got vanilla and Alexis got salted caramel

1 comment:

  1. Hi Keira,
    As I comment on 100 WC stories from all over the world, I'm excited to read an entry from New Zealand!
    I'm impressed with the way you've included all the prompt words in your writing, but as a reader, I had a little difficulty with the lack of full stops.
    I wonder if you might consider that your first sentence would be better simply starting 'One school day I decided ....' rather than 'One day on a school day' What do you think?
    Thanks for sharing,
    Jackie (Team 100WC)
    New Plymouth

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .

Mrs Horan's Showcase of the Week

100WC Week #19 - Kate

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