“Holiday time!” I shouted as I woke up.
“Yay!” I heard my
brother scream.
“Pack your bags.” I
heard my Mum shout.
Then the next minute
we were in the car, "I wonder what the holiday house is going to look
like.” I heard my brother say. I looked
out of the window, when we were close to the house. I then saw this bulky looking house stop
right in front of me.
“Is this the house.” my
brother whispered to me.
“Let’s hope it looks
better on the inside.” I whispered back.
My dad opened the
door, I padded inside cautiously, then stared at the kitchen.
“Candy bar” my
brother said hopefully.
This was not the
holiday house I was hoping for.
Hello Brooke, I like this story because of how you described the house, but you need to work on your grammar and writing. Your friend, Aden
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